Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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