Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize