i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
