On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
