please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He kissed a someone with a penis
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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