You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
