yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My vagina is officially offended.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
