Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
this will be a night to untag.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
