I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
