he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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