I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
