I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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