I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
