I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
