I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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