I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
