It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
