My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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