i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
