I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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