he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
