Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
