"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
