He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
