Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
