Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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