it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
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I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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