Im at strip club and am horny
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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