please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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