the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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