I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
