I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
