everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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