he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
