Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
