my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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