My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
