He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
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How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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