You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
