She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
