I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize