Sponge bath it is.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
