TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
