if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
