No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
