I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
