Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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