you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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