Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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