I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
