part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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