I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
