I can tuck mytits in my pants
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize