she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
