this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
