Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
