When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
