got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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