Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
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I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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