I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
