I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
