Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
