he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
